覆：「回望」

理性的背後總是一籮籮責任和期望...成長便是這樣累人。

可悲的是我們身處的環境如此擁擠。同儕這麼隨意說一下，社會風氣這麼吹一吹，難免便在自己快給壓扁的肩頭再添重量。最終把自己壓迫到舉頭看看世界周遭也不能，更可嘆的是連近在身邊的家人至愛也給壓住了自己也懞然不知。

我們都懷念不用被催趕著成長的日子。
我們都響往不擁擠、不互相量度、不計算比較的空間。
「這樂土在哪？」
哪個哲人、哪個宗教不問？
答案遙不可及，卻又近在咫尺。

OLIVIA

自己喜歡的歐美歌手大致可分兩大陣營：甜美可人派和殿堂大師級。殿堂級暫表下不說，甜美派的代表人物則有Emilie Simon, Carla Bruni和Norah Jones。不談音樂路線迴異，若只論氣質，這些女孩也是各有千秋的。Emilie是可愛聰明但有點點邪氣愛耍壞的，Carla有帶著神經質的性感，Norah是固執倔強的鄰家才女。而今天愛上的Olivia則是純粹的甜。

這名叫Olivia Ong的小妮子，華人面孔，東南亞的蜜糖膚色，長期在日本發展，嘴裡說的是英語，唱的是巴西bossa nova的經典樂曲 (新碟才轉走acoustic路線)。很有趣的女孩。才二十歲呢。

今天download了這女孩幾首歌聽了才沒幾次，便心思思想把她的靚聲據為己擁有。一放工便直奔HK Records，二話不說便乖乖掏出一百二十元，換來一屋的甜。

天啊，甜得要命，她自己卻仍是泰然的懶洋洋。很厲害！

N.B. 買的是A Girl Meets Bossa Nova 2。推介歌曲：Kiss of Life, L-O-V-E, One Note Samba。其實也很喜歡Bossa Nova 1 的Love Fool...唉，還是月尾再買罷。

Paris, Texas

Continuing my journey with Wim Wenders. Fell in love with "Paris, Texas" just five minutes into it.

A strikingly poetic movie, interwoven by long shots of geographical nowheres and close-ups of facial blankness and spiritual emptiness. Just with a quick glimpse of how the story begins, you get the mood: a long shot of a bleak rocky desert for ten seconds; followed by a close-up of a hawk landing on a boulder; then back to the desert where a man in a tattered suit and ridiculously a red baseball cap was staggering; finally a close-up of the face of this man in his bushy beard and with his sun-burnt cheeks. Now, Wenders is ready to tell this story of alienation and loneliness.

Beautiful images, lonely souls...But, don't get me wrong -- it is in no way the kind of art-house movie that only artists understand. It is easily accessible by anyone. In fact you can find a lot of soap-drama elements in the story, only presented with a little more idyllic charm. My synopsis below will immediately tell you how good the story itself is.

Directionless, purposeless, speechless, penniless, Travis kept walking in the middle of a desert in Texas for four years for a forgotten reason. His brother came all the way from L.A. to bring him back to sense, speech, civilisation and life, although the four years of disappearance remained to be a mystery. Under the care of his brother and sister-in-law, and with the forgiving love of his seven-year-old boy, Travis struggled to put his life back together. One day, he decided to take his boy for a journey to find the boy's mother, which ended with a final understanding of what had happened between him, his wife and his son.

Excellent characterisation too. You naturally slip into the hearts of the outwardly rugged but inwardly tender Travis searching for himself, his supportive middle-class brother and sister-in-law struggling to let go, his intelligent and understanding boy learning to forgive and accept, his remorseful and very beautiful young wife trying to escape...You won't ever forget any one of them.

As in all movies, you smile, sulk, sob, sigh as the story "Paris, Texas" unfolds. But unlike most movies, you are awed by the breathtaking images, mused by the powerful symbolisms and touched by the convincing characters for two entire hours and beyond.

Another classic. Another recent favourite.

N.B. Just found out there's even a fancy fan site made for this movie...Cool~

http://perso.orange.fr/forban/index.htm

巧遇，錯過，落差，繼續尋找：暗戀桃花源

巧遇了：江雲二人在老遠的上海巧遇；姣婆春花與姿粉客袁老板巧遇；落漠老陶與夢幻桃花源巧遇；現代文藝大悲劇與古代胡鬧劇在舞台巧遇…

錯過了：江濱柳錯過了雲之凡，雲之凡錯過了江濱柳；中國錯過了抗戰後難得的和平日子；老陶錯過了奈不住空虛的春花，春花錯過了心裡還念著的老陶；陶花袁三人錯過了以後在桃花源安居的機會...

落差了：江雲二人在思念四十年後重逢，卻發現如何也回不去了；春花和袁老闆想像中車厘子眼孩子通山跑的日子並沒有兌現，現實是家徒四壁，孩子只會哭和撒尿；老陶要回去看春花，卻發現她已與袁育有孩子，有新生活；<<暗>>劇導演以為此自傳劇能把他的過去帶回來，這些不懂演活「白色山茶花」的演員卻只有使他失望；<<桃>>劇演員堅持不被騒擾，但騒擾本來便是現實的一部份；神秘瘋女以為劉子驥將赴約，結果到兩劇都排演完畢她還是自己孤零零…

繼續尋找：明知回不了過去，江濱柳尋雲之凡的廣告仍是登；雖然春花和袁老闆明明對現狀不滿，但仍願共同把日子捱過去，把希望寄在孩子上；老陶回不了桃花源，還是繼續找那個虛幻的入口；導演演員雖對各樣安排諸多投訴，還是把劇演完；瘋女子等不到劉子驥，還是繼續找、一直等…

人生本來就是尋找桃花源的旅程。即使錯過了，落差了，人還不是繼續會尋找嗎？讓我們都暗戀桃花源。

當下

我今天留意到兩則新聞：
一. 十四歲女童會考得八優一5*
二. 馬力病逝

十四歲女童成了新聞主角，神情春風得意，父母、校長、老師都沾光，只因今天她獲得如此這般成績。

馬力五月最後一次見傳媒，當時因為「六四沒屠城」論，受萬人辱罵指責。今天逝世，老友曾鈺城還要替他辯護，只因他最後對大家說的是這涼薄話。

我在想，若明天女童便死，她必定將會因為今天的「成就」而被說成「英年早逝」。但當女童四十歲，若她犯了錯，她的上司會因為其會考成績罵她少一點嗎？而她死於八十時，她的死亡還會讓人注意嗎？

我又想，若馬力多活三十年，他五月說的話，還會成為報道他病逝的焦點嗎？若他當天便知自己大限將至，他還會選擇「六四沒屠城」作為他的遺言嗎？

是時間把人定功過對錯呢。多虛無。

我又想到<<柏林蒼窮下>> (很美的片名)中，守望柏林的黑衣天使。他們並沒有批判二戰中誰對誰錯，東德西德那裡分界，那人成功那人失敗，甚麼是美甚麼是醜。天使只是在落入凡間的第一刻，因為血是有味道、空氣很冷而興奮，因為世界有紅、有黃、有綠、有灰藍而雀躍。天使在旁觀了世界幾億萬年的進化後選擇了真正的「活」。

When the child was a child
It walked with its arms swinging
It wanted the stream to be a river
The river a torrent
And this puddle to be the sea
When the child was a child
It didn't know it was a child
Everything was full of Life
And all Life was one
When the child was a child
It had no opinion about anything
It had no habits
It often sat cross-legged
Took off running
Had a cowlick in its hair
And didn't pull a face when photographed.

誰也不知那天是人生最後一天，當下成了唯一可以掌控的。有人認為正是如此，便應把握當下，以求撒手後貢獻成就被肯定；有人，則只求像黑衣天使，感受當下在活的好。我選擇後者，你呢。

回來了,便好了

甚麼都比不上這樣好

Middle Class Guilt

Somebody said the recent universal lament about global warming is mirroring some kind of 'middle class guilt' sentiments. Intriguing argument.

First, let us take a closer look at what middle class is. 'Middle class' or 'bourgeoise', a paradoxical concept about classifications of people in society. It has never been only a topic in ideological and political '...isms' out of reach by the majority. No. Instead, the concept 'middle class' has always been accepted as a matter of fact in our everyday life. 'Middle class' is equivalent to high education, stable handsome salary, abundant chances of travel, good taste of music, books, movies, sports, fashion and food, or in short, quality of life. In a practical earthy Hong Kong sense, middle class is synonymous to an overseas (preferably American or British) degree, a 1000 sq feet harbour-view house with either flamboyant or minimalist interior design, weekend golf or boat trips, Waltz or these days Salsa, Diana Krall and Il Divo, 號外orTime, 明報,經濟or SCMP, Burberry, Gucci or LV (but no monograms please), Starbucks or 'non-cha-chan-tang' style coffee in general, City Super and GREAT, frequent long distance flights, children in English Foundation or DSS schools... You know what I mean. Ask any average Hong Konger, I am sure s/he will come up with a similar list and tell you this is his/her dream lifestyle.

Right, everybody is struggling to get there - be 'middle class'. But who defines what 'there' is like and who plants these images in our mind then? In fact, this label has been deep-rooted in human mind for centuries, probably since the decline of the church and landlords and the emergence of industrialists and businessmen with accumulating wealth during the Industrial Revolution era. It has however taken on a different shape these days with the triumph and omnipresence of advertisements. Yes, advertisements that are literally invading every single corner. These ubiquitous and fanciful images have turned all the qualities of middle class into commodities, in other words, things that you need to pay for. Therefore, to be middle-class, you should prefer Starbucks coffee (which costs you double) to Hong Kong style milk-tea. To be middle class, you should visit HMV to buy DVDs and CDs that can be conveniently bought in local stores. To be middle class, you should subscribe SCMP or Time, even though you can hardly finsh one-third of each issue. To be middle class, you have to own a nice flat in an estate where the entrance lobby has a chandelier, never mind you have to work your whole life off the 5 m mortgage. These are the things that get you into the middle-class. Who cares whether you know the difference between Palestine and Pakistan, whether you know who you are voting for, whether you literally read or flip through the 村上春樹 or Kafka you're carrying, whether you call prostitutes dirty and cheap 'chickens' while frequently enjoying their service, whether you give your seat to a pregnant woman on MTR (let me rephrase -- middle-class people seldom take MTR), whether you give way to or swear at one of those slow-moving cardboard old ladies when you drive, whether you only blame the school for your children's misbehaviour while spoiling them with an unlimited supply of playthings like NDS, Wii and iPhone but never a book.

Now, do we have a reason for guilt? I believe yes. I am not saying that middle class is a group of people we should despise. In fact, I somehow quite like or am struggling to get many of the things mentioned above too. What I am saying is just 'Can we be a little bit more than that?' While we are enjoying all the privileges that our effort and much more importantly our luck (luck of being born with the intelligence, to be exact ability to memorize all that is required in the public exams and get into a university to get a decent degree and a handsome salary) bring us, we should also make an effort to understand how we are made, and how our earth and the unfortunate ones suffer as a result. Let us try to make a difference not merely by making a scanty monthly donation of $100 to an organization whose work we hardly even know.

大師...在棋盤上輸了

瑞典电影大师英格玛-伯格曼辞世 享年89岁

曾经执导过《第七封印》、《野草莓》等经典作品的瑞典电影大师英格玛·伯格曼于瑞典当地时间7月30日(周一)在他的家乡法罗去世，享年89岁。　　英格玛·伯格曼的作品一生创作过50多部作品，其中《处女泉》、《杯中黑影》、《呼喊与细语》和《芬妮与亚历山大》于1960年、1962年、1972年和1982年先后夺得奥斯卡最佳外语片奖。《夏夜的微笑》、《第七封印》、《女人的期待》、《野草莓》、《魔术师》、《处女泉》和《杯中黑影》则让他在柏林、戛纳和威尼斯等欧洲三大电影节各有斩获。

沒想過看他的seventh seal才兩天，他便輸了棋局，讓死神帶走了。正如戲中所要說的，這博弈有誰嬴得了？希望他在另一空間會找到他窮一生追尋的死神的秘密，得到永恒的平安。